[ That was indeed the answer he was hoping for, and an easy opening for her to take. He's still stupidly happy she did.
Except he isn't sure where to put the hand that was on her neck now. He winds up draping an arm over her, rubbing her back slightly between her shoulderblades just to do something with it. The gentle, soothing pressure keeps up after the kiss breaks, and Wash sighs almost contentedly against her lips. It's true, they're both wrung out -- he doesn't have any intentions or expectations, is just happy to still get to hold her. ]
[ with his repositioning, she follows suit, shifting a little closer to him as her hand trails back from his jaw, resting against the back of his head instead, fingers sliding through his hair. ]
Yeah. Aren't you?
[ she knows he is, can feel it, but it feels nicer to ask. ]
[ It's a quiet, guilty admission, since Carolina has to deal with the aftermath of his nightmares, but an honest one. Stress always makes them worse, and today was. Well, it was sure a day. ]
[ carolina isn't looking forward to her own dreams, either, but as soon as that discomfort crops up, she does her best to suppress it. maybe she'll luck out, not dream about anything at all. that sense of understanding lingers, though. ]
No matter what you dream, you know I'll be here, right?
...that's why I'm worried. And relieved, at once. It's confusing.
[ Her presence is incredibly comforting after, but he doesn't feel like she deserves to field the panic and whatever else a dream leaves him with. Somehow, though... ]
[ which is really all the motivation she needs to stubbornly ignore anything happening in her own head in favour of trying to help his. carolina knows, though, that he might consider that unfair or try to argue it somehow, so she offers: ]
Besides, Eta was basically just a panic attack waiting to happen. If I let him have access to any anxiety at all, it was a mess, so I got practice putting things aside.
[ He gets that -- being what the situation and person calls for. But the mention of Eta has him curious. ]
I don't feel like that to you, right? Like an AI? Because you're nothing like...
[ When Epsilon tore his mind apart, or even when he had Alpha briefly riding shotgun for his failed kamikaze revenge. He doesn't say either of those things, because Carolina already knows. ]
[ it's soft, insistent. she doesn't want him to get the wrong impression, when she does know his history with AI. ]
But the empathy principles are... sort of the same. The same way I could lock stuff up from them, or focus on something else so they could fixate on that and not whatever they were trying to stir up.
[ Wash considers it, what it must be like to have an AI that you actually bond with -- like York and Delta, North and Theta, Carolina and Epsilon -- and finds he honestly can't imagine it. What he has now with Carolina is just emotion, and he can handle that. But he never really imagined that you could block off parts of your mind, either. It's just all over his head. ]
I never really got the chance to learn how to exist with an AI, I guess.
[ carolina can't hide the guilt that that churns up in her, even if she doesn't let it stay intense for too long, quick to reel it back in. but she's always felt bad that she fit so easily with epsilon when he nearly killed wash, and she doesn't think she'll ever forgive herself for altering the AI lineup back during the project. sigma should have been her problem. eta or iota should have been a great fit for wash. she can imagine either one of them suiting him well enough.
she's quiet for a moment, picking through words before she decides onβ ]
[ they both need it, after the day they've had, no matter what sort of nightmares might make an appearance as a result. that's something they'll have to deal with later. ]
[ she inclines her head slightly, almost a nod, then pauses, considers talking herself out of the next impulse and decides it might be nice after all. so carolina moves just enough to press another soft, brief kiss to wash's lips before she slinks a little lower in the bed, tucking her head under his chin, one arm around his waist. ]
[ Carolina is rewarded with a burst of simple, warm happiness, and Wash is smiling when she pulls back far enough to see. She can hear it in his voice as he drapes his arms around her in return. ]
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Except he isn't sure where to put the hand that was on her neck now. He winds up draping an arm over her, rubbing her back slightly between her shoulderblades just to do something with it. The gentle, soothing pressure keeps up after the kiss breaks, and Wash sighs almost contentedly against her lips. It's true, they're both wrung out -- he doesn't have any intentions or expectations, is just happy to still get to hold her. ]
Tired?
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Yeah. Aren't you?
[ she knows he is, can feel it, but it feels nicer to ask. ]
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[ It's a quiet, guilty admission, since Carolina has to deal with the aftermath of his nightmares, but an honest one. Stress always makes them worse, and today was. Well, it was sure a day. ]
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No matter what you dream, you know I'll be here, right?
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[ Her presence is incredibly comforting after, but he doesn't feel like she deserves to field the panic and whatever else a dream leaves him with. Somehow, though... ]
How are you always so steady? After.
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[ which is really all the motivation she needs to stubbornly ignore anything happening in her own head in favour of trying to help his. carolina knows, though, that he might consider that unfair or try to argue it somehow, so she offers: ]
Besides, Eta was basically just a panic attack waiting to happen. If I let him have access to any anxiety at all, it was a mess, so I got practice putting things aside.
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[ He gets that -- being what the situation and person calls for. But the mention of Eta has him curious. ]
I don't feel like that to you, right? Like an AI? Because you're nothing like...
[ When Epsilon tore his mind apart, or even when he had Alpha briefly riding shotgun for his failed kamikaze revenge. He doesn't say either of those things, because Carolina already knows. ]
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[ it's soft, insistent. she doesn't want him to get the wrong impression, when she does know his history with AI. ]
But the empathy principles are... sort of the same. The same way I could lock stuff up from them, or focus on something else so they could fixate on that and not whatever they were trying to stir up.
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I never really got the chance to learn how to exist with an AI, I guess.
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she's quiet for a moment, picking through words before she decides onβ ]
I shouldn't have brought them up. I'm sorry.
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[ Wash says it quickly -- almost too quickly, like he had it ready, so he sighs and tries again. ]
I asked. But that's the past. I only want to think about the next five minutes right now.
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[ they both need it, after the day they've had, no matter what sort of nightmares might make an appearance as a result. that's something they'll have to deal with later. ]
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I'm here if you need me.
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I know.